I think Tumblr is a great way to purge out your thoughts and feelings without any negative judgement from others. It can be very cathartic. Sooo I’m going to use my Tumblr as a personal “diary” every now and then.
Anyways, today at school was just…bleh as usual. I seriously cannot wait to graduate, go to college, and just move the fuck on with my life. I am sooo tired of high school and all of its bullshit…holy shit I cannot take any more of it. I’m fucking done. Sorry, excuse the language. I can get very passionate sometimes. I hate 90% of the people at my school. Yes, typical teenage angst, I know. Ughhh but I do! Maybe not “hate,” but strongly dislike. I have tried to like them…I really have, but it has always resorted to just pure aversion. People here are douchey, fake, superficial, snobby, extremely judgmental, privileged, spoiled, dull, and have this overrated “bro” or “hipster” mentality or superiority complex. Of course, I’m going to meet more of these people in the future, but high school just so happens to have a large concentration of these types of people. Yeah. I feel very ready to be independent and move on to the next chapter in my life. I don’t want anything or anyone to hold me back. I hate high school. Who doesn’t?
There is this guy in one of my classes and he is so gorgeous to me. I don’t know why. He’s not the type that most girls would obsess over and oggle at and it’s a damn shame that these stupid bitches at my school don’t see it. Oh well. More for me? Haha. Wow. He really is beautiful and he really has no idea. I wish I had the courage to just go up to him and talk to him. I daydream a lot about making him realize how gorgeous and loved he is and just all this lovey dovey romance crap. I stalk his personal websites all the time and he seems like a beautiful soul…very caring, gentle, kind, has a quiet peaceful nature…someone that I’ve been looking for for awhile now. Not to mention, his beautiful hands. I catch myself staring at them all the time, wishing I could just hold them. Those beautiful hands also play beautiful music<3 AND AND he likes one of my favorite bands :D Annnd one of my favorite TV shows. God, what a gem. Ugh school year is almost ending. WHAT DO I DO?
Senior Ball is coming up. Got my dress. Got a party bus. Got mahh frannnns. Hair makeup blah blah w.e. do it later. I just need to find a goddamn DATE. Ugh. I don’t think he’d go with me. Not pretty enough. Sorry, I’m a self-loather…I have horribly low self-esteem. No one knows that about me. It probably shows anyways.
I really do wonder what I’m like and what I look like through other people’s eyes…especially him. I wonder all the time.